Fear of others judgment is a matter of low self-esteem!
It is very common in each of us and manifests itself with a subtle and pervasive discomfort that limits us to choices and interaction with others.
This discomfort is closely linked to low self-esteem.
When we trap this mechanism, we are worried that we will not please others and become insecure.
Fear of others’ judgment and poor self-esteem are emotions that sometimes interfere in a very serious way with our socialization.
We criticize criticisms and do not feel up to the situation.
This fear is a trap of thought and at its base, we find our mental attitude of strict judgment towards ourselves that leads us to devalue and criticize for alleged shortcomings.
In reading this article, you will be able to understand …
- Because we are afraid of the judgment of others
- How important it is to start managing this fear
- Three Effective Tips to Start Managing It
Fear of the judgment of others: Why do we try it?
One of the primary needs of the human being is to be loved and accepted by the people around us.
It is one of the most important needs of the human being.
The need to be accepted is clearly expressed in the famous Maslow Pyramid, where it is placed immediately after the need for security.
That is why we are so much concerned about the judgment of others.
“What do people think of me?”
“What will people say to me?”
“What shall I do?”
How many times in our life have we come into contact with this thought.
Here, we pay much more attention to avoid getting a negative judgment from others than to pay attention to the construction of our spontaneous and authentic self.
They have taught us from children to give so much importance to the positive judgment of others.
But to have the positive judgment of others, we have to fulfill their expectations, placing our background in the background, so that sometimes we forget what our core values are.
What we really fear is refusal and marginalization?
We all fear being judged negatively for some aspect, rather than for some else.
In some cases, the natural fear of the loss of the other or of the exclusion can take pathological notes and turn into a very serious psychological disturbance: Social Phobia.
The Social Phobia or Social Anxiety is a form of extreme fear of being judged by others, which reaches to the irrational.
The importance of freeing you from the chains of others judgment.
Fearing the judgment of others is a big limitation. In fact, when we trap this mechanism of the mind we cannot share our thoughts with others and we cannot express our ideas.
Here are the consequences …
- Our relationships will be less authentic and this will lead to significant repercussions on our health.
- We will try to suppress our emotions. When we do not express our emotions, we tend to sometime, as well as being blocked in communication.
- Our self-esteem will decrease and we will become dependent on others judgment. Even our choices and decisions will depend on the desire of others.
Why is it useful to start managing all of this?
Getting rid of the fear of the judgment of others means getting rid of a burden that inhibits our choices and limits our lives, but above all increases our self-esteem.
Some effective tips to start managing it.
“Nothing and nobody can make you feel inferior, unless you allow it.” – Anna Eleanor Roosevelt
In this sentence, Anna Eleanor Roosevelt outlines the main aspects of how to start managing the fear of others’ judgment.
Obviously, the solution is within us, because our lives are made of projections of our mind.
What to do to overcome the fear of others judgment?
Here are three practical tips …
√ We seek spontaneity
We affirm our thoughts and our ideas. We can use a kind and smiling attitude, but determined.
We try to limit aggressive attitudes, which want to cover a form of inner insecurity and clearly express a defense to protect us from our fear of being judged.
Likewise, we can limit the excess of smile and kindness, which denotes a servile and dependent attitude, for fear of non-acceptance.
Inner judgment is nothing but our inner guide, to give a conscious direction to our behavior.
Sometimes, this is too harsh and boycotts us. It depends a lot on the experiences we have experienced especially in childhood.
We cannot eliminate it, but we can lead it to a degree of greater benevolence towards ourselves.
√ We distinguish between constructive criticisms and manipulative criticisms.
We learn to understand when criticisms, both internal and external, are geared towards improving or inculcating us.
They are of a manipulative nature the criticisms that, as a main purpose, want to create discomfort and tend to devalue and make us feel guilty.
They are constructive criticisms, those that are geared to make us evolve, to make us feel better and to pull out our potentialities.
“Among the natural desires that, if not satisfied, do not give rise to real suffering, there are those in which there is a strong tension and these originate from vain opinion and it is difficult to dissolve them not by their own nature, but for the foolish beliefs of men.”- Epicure.